So Misery

I feel so alone. At home. Alone
You out there. Having good time. In glamorous place.
Party. Laugh and more laugh perhaps.

I remember you said something last night.
Full anger and hurt, you said, "I'll let them know, I will have a girlfriend tomorrow."
And me, a fool honest-stupid-unwise girl replied, "Then....what about me?"

Tonight, I'm wondering where you are now.
What are you doing. Are you still thinking about last night? About me?
Do you still remember about your promise to meet me ASAP?

I wanna send you message, to get those answers, but my pride won't let me.

My heart still aching.
I cannot breathe today, thinking all my faults last night.

But you, at least get your release, and for the best, you're having great time.

Uh-well... then let me die alone in misery...

Without you....

My Darling

I think I want to give up now.
It's not because I'm like you who scared to hurt me and to be hurt.
I love you, you know that.
But I don't want to be your reason that makes your shine fading.

I always like you shining under the sun.
Glittering with the brightest smile on your face.

And when you're fading you ache my heart so much.
SO MUCH til I can't breath knowing the reason behind all that is me.

I can't handle this reality.

I just want you to be happy.
And that's the shape of my love for you.

I remember you once said, "Maybe God is trying to tell us that we're not meant to be together. And that's why we hurt each other."

I think you're right, darling.

I can't accept the fact that I'm the one who kill your smile.

I want you to be happily ever after.

Always.

What is Love?

I love him.
Everything about him.

I love his smile.
Love his radiant personality.
And his huge heart as well.

He said he liked me. Couple weeks ago.
And now, I should interpret his feelings by myself.
He got enough wounds because of me.
But he said he will always around for me.

And now how should I take his feeling?
I don't know.

But, one thing for sure, I still like him.
No.

I think I love him.

Greetings, folks!

Argh!

Finally, I make my own blog in ENGLISH version!

You don’t know how long I’ve been planned this, and I keep pending it from time to time. One of reasons why I want to make this blog is so I can practice my english. I’m about to graduate from my english major—well, almost. But, I already forgot how to speak english conversation and stuff. Everytime my friends talk in english, it seems my brain got to loading in a long time, then I can find the exact words what I want to say. The most unbelievable thing is that I’m getting hate reading english words. What the hell is that? I don’t wanna end up just like some bigot out there who think that english is just one of those youngsters’ trend. Just face it, english is an international language. You can go travel anywhere in the world and talking to people with english.

So, why did I name my blog notnormalme?

Let’s see. My Indonesian blog is akuyanganeh.blogspot.com. It means the weird me. I wanna name this blog with the same words, for example weirdme or weirdworld, freakgirl, something like that. But, too bad, those names are not available. I open my thesaurus dictionary to find other words besides weird, freak—until I found ‘not normal’ in the end of the list words for crazy. Yep, that’s me, lol.

Compared to anyone I know from the day I born to this day, I know that my life is not common. Well, actually I wanna tell you how crazy is my world, how not normal is my life, but I doubt that I’ll be able to compose one whole story with ENGLISH. Please, don’t make it harder for me if you find any incorrect grammar or vocabulary. Just tell me where did I do wrong and I’ll improve my english skill. Your comment is my treasure. Hope you enjoy my blog.

So, let’s start this blog with…..