Now I enjoy to speak my mind in english. Besides, it seems that no one giving any crap in this blog, lol. Which means, no one read this blog and I can talk about anything in here. Well, it doesn't mean that I don't like anyone read this blog. Seriously, what's the point to make it public. But, I kinda bothered by the fact that some cruel people from my past are reading my blog that mostly filled by my scandalous life that I will never ever share to the world. I mean, they are totally cruel people who will definitely laugh so hard behind my back.

And I'm surely can imagine one person who will smirk at me now, telling people about how pity my life is and then they make a joke about it. I swear, if that really happening in the future, I will chop that person's head MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway, I was on twitter and people were talking about Stockholm Syndrome. I was surprised that the very definition of Stockholm Syndrome almost define my dad and mom's act to me and my siblings. I, myself don't know how to feel about this. Coz whatever they did to us, it affect our love life. I mean, we, three brother and sister don't easily fall in love, that's for one. We don't just play around with any guys and girls.

And other news today is......

Damn, I miss Ikkyu so much.

I was so close to get a resolution to get his love no matter what. But, that is so wrong. And I still don't know what to do.

The Truth About me NOW

So, yeah... I'm broken-hearted now. Again.

This time with the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. I fell in love with him at the first sight. Again.

Gosh, I just don't know how it works. Why on earth I always fall in love at first sight? It's excruciating, because from the moment I saw him, I was already crazy in love. No need for him to give me gifts, all those flattering words and stuffs, then BANG!, my heart is in his hands completely.

Okay, for the record, I know how it works. I'm actually has a 'thing' like I can visualize every person's personality in the first sight. You can say that this is a 6th sense or something, but I just know about people that I met for the first time. And of course when I met Ikkyu (a guy that broke my heart), I just know him.

My heart was telling me that he is so kind that he'll be able to be fooled by people. Not to mention he also has a great smile and tall and beautiful, lols. My weaknesses are all there. So obvious I fell in love right away. I remember he used to tell my friend that I was not interested in him. He was so devastated back then coz' my friends keep pushing him to hitting on me.

But, the truth is, I was so into him that I had no power to talk normally to him, but he thought on the contrary. And here I am now, wondering what would happened if at that time, I wasn't acting myself, and I wore make-up, mascara, and stuff, then flirted at him. I am wondering if at that time, I asked his phone number with the sweetest smile on my face and said something nice to him, like 'Man, you're so handsome'. Maybe we can become an item for now.

But, I know God has a plan for this too. Or maybe he's not the one. I gotta look somewhere. Someone who has same sweetest smile like Ikkyu. Or maybe better than that.

But, one thing I adore about Ikkyu so much. He's an honest person. I mean he bravely told me that he's taken, that he's already got himself a girlfriend. Totally not like a jerk from my past who lied to me that he already had a girlfriend.

God, tell me please.

Should I steal Ikkyu from his girlfriend?
Or should I find another guy?